


Without A Paddle

by ScullyGolightly



Category: Schitt's Creek, The X-Files
Genre: Crossover, Cunnilingus, F/M, First Time, One Room Trope, Resolved Sexual Tension, Smut, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-02 02:20:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17879258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScullyGolightly/pseuds/ScullyGolightly
Summary: Mulder and Scully investigate a case in the town of Schitt's Creek





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an MSR story in the Schitt's Creek universe set during Season 5 of The X-Files and Season 4 of Schitt's Creek (specifically around S04xE06 "Open Mic Night").

They were the lone car on the country road. Scully pulled out the file from her bag and began to read it. Mulder fiddled with the radio trying to find something other than bluegrass and static but was unsuccessful.

 

“Mulder, this guy sounds like a total nutcase.”

 

“I think he’s very credible. He’s the Mayor, actually.”

 

“Holding a public office doesn’t equal credibility,” she muttered, glancing at him then lingering on his lips as he shelled a sunflower seed. Scully looked away when he took the shell from his mouth and put it in the empty coffee cup in the center console. She averted her gaze out the passenger side window and saw something odd. “Wait, did you see that?”

 

“What?”

 

“That sign. Stop and reverse.”

 

Mulder did as instructed and backed up until the large billboard was in front of them. “Oh my god,” Scully said, appalled. Mulder let out what could only be described as an inappropriate, childish giggle.

 

It was the town sign cordially welcoming visitors with the message that said, _Welcome to Schitt’s Creek: Where everyone fits in._ What was disturbing about it though was the image of a woman bent over and a man very suggestively pressed up against her backside. As if that wasn’t enough, there was a tacked-on sign with an arrow pointing to the lewd scene that exclaimed, _Don’t worry, it’s his sister!_

 

“What have you gotten us into, Mulder?” Scully said with dread.

 

Mulder was still chuckling. “It looks like--”

 

“I know what it looks like!” She could not handle hearing him describe it out loud.

 

Mulder sighed delightedly, completely tickled by the sign and Scully’s reaction, calming himself down from his giggle fit. He pulled the car back onto the road. “This should be interesting.”

 

About ten minutes later, they were in the main part of the town. Mulder pulled into the gravel parking lot of the Schitt’s Creek Motel, a shabby string of eight rooms. The sign for it unironically advertised, and rather confidently, that they had push button phones. Scully groaned, and Mulder tsked. “It’s cute,” he said, which earned him a hard side-eye from his partner. “Well, there’s vacancy, at least,” Mulder followed up weakly, shrugging his shoulders.

 

They entered the lobby and approached the front desk. A girl with long dark brown hair sat behind it, reading. She gave them a glance and reluctantly put down her book. “Uh, hi,” she stated in an unenthusiastic greeting.

 

“We’d like two rooms, please,” said Mulder.

 

“There’s only one available.”

 

“Shoot,” he grumbled, looking at Scully who was already making for the exit. “Is there another motel nearby?”

 

“Closest is in Elmdale.”

 

“We’ll take the room.”

 

Scully whipped around. He felt this movement behind him, but ignored it, pulling out his credit card. The front desk clerk, whose name tag declared she was called Stevie, noticed Scully’s uncomfortableness. “It’s two twin beds,” she informed them. This made Scully ease a little and she joined Mulder back at the counter.

 

Stevie did up the transaction and handed Scully the room key, giving her a small, sympathetic smile, feeling akin to this woman’s frustration and disappointment.

 

Just then a man in a suit came out from the back room. “Did I just hear you book the last room, Stevie?” he asked, grinning, large bushy eyebrows going up in excitement.

 

“Uh, yes, these two fine people here have the last coveted room in our fine establishment,” she answered in a voice so loaded down with sarcasm it made even Scully’s best gibes to Mulder pale in comparison.

 

The man clasped his hands together in a single celebratory clap that contained a level of enthusiasm no one else in the room shared. “If you need anything at all don’t hesitate to call us here at the front desk.”

 

Stevie furrowed her brow as if to counter that statement. Mulder thanked them and followed Scully out to the car to get their bags.

 

The room wasn’t terrible, but Scully wouldn’t admit that. She was already irked that Mulder had taken this case that wasn’t even a case and dragged them out to this podunk town, but now she didn’t have a place to escape to and sulk in private. Not to mention the fact that her amorous feelings towards her partner had been increasing to dangerous levels as of late. Being in such close proximity to him was going to be a challenge, and one she was not prepared to take on just yet.

 

“It’s not bad,” Mulder said, pointing to the turquoise brick wall behind the beds and retro 70s style lamps on the nightstands. “Kinda kitschy.”

 

Scully took out her toiletry bag and went into the bathroom, not responding to him.

 

Mulder sat down on the end of one of the beds. He couldn’t wipe the grin off of his face. Ever since he had seen that sign, he’d been in a good mood. And now he got to share a room with Scully. This case he had decided to take on a whim, which was nothing more than a cursory claim of a UFO sighting, kept getting better and better.

 

“There’re no towels,” Scully called out disparagingly.

 

“I’ll let the friendly guy with the eyebrows know. I’m sure they’ll bring us some.”

 

She came out of the bathroom, drying her hands on the back of her slacks and shooting Mulder an annoyed look. “Let’s go question this guy and then find a place to eat. I’m hungry.”

 

“More like hangry,” Mulder mumbled, earning him another piercing glare. He laughed it off and ushered her out of the room, his hand gently resting on her lower back.

 

***

 

Mulder knocked on the door to the Schitt family residence. A woman opened the door. She was visibly pregnant, wearing a pink and black floral maternity top. She smiled brightly, but with questioning in her eyes. “Hello!”

 

“We’re Agents Mulder and Scully from the FBI. Here to speak with Roland Schitt.”

 

“Oh my gosh. Rollie! I told you not to call the FBI,” she yelled out into the house. Then she stepped aside, motioning for them to come in. “I’m Jocelyn, Roland’s wife. I told him not to call you,” she explained again.

 

Jocelyn led them into the living room. “Can I get you something to drink? Or to eat? I think I have enough in the fridge to whip up a cheeses and meats platter.”

 

“Oh, please don’t bother,” Scully said as she sat down on the sofa next to Mulder.

 

“Freeze! FBI!” A man jumped out into the living room with his hands gripped together in front of him as if he was holding a gun. He laughed at his own joke then rubbed his potbelly which rivaled his pregnant wife’s. “I tease,” he said. “Roland Schitt.” He extended his hand first to Scully, then to Mulder.

 

“Mr. Schitt--” began Scully.

 

“Roland, please,” he interrupted. “Or Mayor. Or Mr. Mayor.”

 

Scully paused before continuing, staring at him blankly. “You’ve claimed to see lights in the sky. The pictures you provided are quite fuzzy. Can you tell us anything else about that night? Did you experience any other strange phenomena?”

 

Jocelyn sat down on the armrest of the recliner that Roland was in and shook her head. Roland tilted his head as if in thought. “I was walking home from Ivan’s. Had to leave my truck there. Did you know, honey, Ivan can make a mean butter tart but an even meaner Cosmopolitan?”

 

“Oh was this a _Sex And The City_ night? I thought you were watching the fight?” Jocelyn asked. “But now that you mention it, you did make me call you Mr. Big…”

 

Roland giggled and tickled Jocelyn’s side. “It should come as no surprise that my 40-something wife is knocked up, amirite?”

 

Mulder could feel Scully’s impatience radiate off of her, but he was still unprepared with the way she tried to get the conversation back on track.

 

“Your active sex life, while enviable, seems to have no bearing on the sighting, Mr. Schitt. Can you please tell us about the lights you saw that night?”

 

Roland put on a mock serious expression, cocking his head to and fro, in an attempt to badly impersonate Scully. “Just the facts, ma’am,” he said, saluting her.

 

“Rollie, stop,” Jocelyn admonished, swatting at him.

 

“Okay, okay, so I was walking and I looked over and there was a greenish ball of light in the sky. Kinda over that field by Mutt’s barn.”

 

“Anything else out of the ordinary happen while you were watching?” asked Mulder.

 

“No, no. I did go back the next couple nights and the second night there was nothing, but it was back on the third night. That’s when I took the pictures. I tried to get Joss to come look, and Johnny, but they thought I was cuckoo!” He swung his finger in a circular motion by the side of his head and crossed his eyes.

 

Scully looked pointedly at Mulder; he didn’t know exactly what she was saying in her mind to him, but it had to be along the lines of “This man is deranged, let’s go.”

 

“Can you show us the place tonight?” Mulder asked, standing to signal the close of their questioning.

 

“Yeah, sure! I’ll pick you up at the motel.”

 

Mulder avoided Scully’s glare as they walked to the front door. Once outside, she made her irritation known. “I can’t believe you’re going to humor him. He was admittedly drunk the first night he saw something, and probably was the other night, too.”

 

“We drove all this way, Scully. Might as well investigate it thoroughly.”

 

“Fine,” she said tersely, getting into the car. “But you owe me lunch now.”

 

***

 

They sat down in a booth at the Café Tropical and opened the oversized menus. They were so large that Scully looked even smaller than she was, like an eight-year-old who scoffed at ordering from the children’s menu.

 

Two booths down sat the Rose family. Johnny had seen Mulder and Scully come in and he pointed them out discreetly. “They’re staying at the motel. FBI agents. Apparently, Roland called them about those lights he was going on about.”

 

Alexis looked over her shoulder at them. She had a view of Mulder and the back of Scully’s head. “He’s cute,” she said, turning back. “FBI agents can be ...intense,” she remarked suggestively with a knowing smirk.

 

“And how do you know that?” her brother David said with an impatient, derogatory tone.

 

“Remember that secret gambling ring fiasco that they accused Ethan Hawke of running? I was a part of the undercover sting operation. I posed as a trophy wife for one of the agents and, yeah ...intense,” Alexis said, recounting it wistfully with a proud grin widening across her face.

 

“Alexis!” Johnny scolded, appalled.

 

“What? It was at Ethan’s insistence.”

 

David rolled his eyes. “Anyways, Stevie said she noticed some awkward sexual tension between those two when she told them there was only one room.”

 

Moira, the family matriarch, perked up at this. “Ah, the old one-room trope.”

 

“What’s that, Moira?” asked Johnny.

 

“It’s commonly used in fan-based fictional work to get two characters together so they are forced to face their feelings for one another and then copulate.”

 

“Read a lot of fan fiction, do you?” David said, derisively.

 

Moira was unfazed. “Bernardo, that Brazilian wig master I had, he used to read me _Sunrise Bay_ fan fiction. A lot of it was quite pornographic,” she said with a sly grin. “One had Vivien Blake and the pool boy--”

 

“Ew!” squealed Alexis.

 

“Nope, don’t want to hear about that,” David asserted, shaking his head.

 

Moira pursed her lips and shrugged, taking a sip of her tea.

 

“Also, Stevie said he had a weird name like Fox or Wolf or something.”

 

“He’s definitely foxy,” stated Alexis.

 

David nodded in agreement. “Both are better than ‘Mutt.’”

 

Alexis made a face, grimacing at the mention of her ex. “True.”

 

Later, when Mulder and Scully had finished eating and paid their check, the Rose family was still there. They started to leave, but Mulder noticed Johnny as the man from the motel and they smiled at each other. Mulder then looked at Moira sitting next to him and his eyes grew wide. “Hey…” he said with faint recognition.

 

Scully reluctantly followed as Mulder made his way to their table. “Are you Moira Rose?” he asked. “I recognize you.”

 

“Oh, do you now?” tittered Moira, playing the flattered yet humble starlet well. “From _Sunrise Bay_?”

 

“No, from the Herb Ertlinger Fruit Wine commercials,” David interjected, sarcastically. Moira shot him a look that quieted him but his amused smirk remained.

 

“Yes, from _Sunrise Bay_ ,” Mulder confirmed. “I’m a big fan.”

 

“Aren’t you sweet,” cooed Moira. “I have some headshots back at the motel. I can sign one for you if you’d like.”

 

“That would be great! Thank you so much,” he gushed. “Well, goodbye.” Mulder turned, running straight into a gobsmacked Scully.

 

“Mulder, you watched _Sunrise Bay_?” she whispered, incredulously.

 

He pushed her toward the door and answered her once they were outside and out of earshot. “My mom watched it. One summer when I was home from Oxford, she had the flu and I took care of her. We watched it every day for two weeks. I got such a kick out of Vivien Blake. She was a ball buster—no-nonsense, strong, formidable. I mean, the plots were ridiculous, but it was entertaining.” He unlocked the rental car and opened the passenger door for Scully. “It’s actually one of my fondest memories with my mom. Probably because she was sick and vulnerable, she dropped her austerity and was relaxed around me, and I was able to be relaxed around her. It was nice.”

 

Scully was touched by the story and it was endearing to see Mulder awestruck over a soap star. “You should get her to sign one for your mom, too.”

 

“Yeah, maybe I’ll ask.”

 

Scully got into the car and Mulder went around to the driver’s side to take them back to the motel.

 

***

 

Scully had been in the shower for a while, not caring if she used up all the hot water. Spending the evening with Roland Schitt made her want nothing more than to scrub herself clean and be alone with her unmitigable irritability. Mulder found the man to be amusing, and this annoyed her even more. They had stood out on that bluff for two hours and no mysterious green glow appeared in the sky.

 

When they had gotten back to the motel, the return trip in which Scully had to sit in the middle of the two of them in the messy cab of Roland’s pick-up truck, the mayor invited them to join him for beers in the lobby. “As tempting as that sounds,” Scully had said, “I’ll have to decline.” Mulder had, very unprofessionally in her opinion, taken him up on the offer.

 

She finally turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping herself in the threadbare, dull cream-colored towel that was almost grayish, she went out into the room to get her pajamas she had forgotten to bring into the bathroom in her fit of annoyance.

 

Mulder chose that time to come back. He was a little tipsy and couldn’t mask his gawking of seeing Scully in the skimpy towel, skin glowing and flushed and wet from the hot shower. He also couldn’t stop the “Wow” from tumbling out of his mouth.

 

She stared back at him for a moment, frozen, then turned to her suitcase, bending over to rummage for her pajamas. Mulder continued to stare, focusing on her ass that was just barely covered by the towel. Scully scurried back into the bathroom, and Mulder chuckled then let out a lovesick sigh as he fell back onto the bed.

 

Scully re-emerged, now fully clothed in navy satin pajamas, and got into bed. “Enjoy yourself?” she asked Mulder.

 

He considered her question in the boozy fog of his mind. Was she referring to the beers he shared with Roland or the view he got of her body once he returned to the room? Mulder enjoyed the latter of the two much more and answered in that regard. “Immensely.”

 

“I’m going to sleep. Mind if I turn off the light?”

 

“No, go ahead,” he said, not moving from his spot on top of the covers. “Goodnight, Scully.”

 

“Night, Mulder.”


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Mulder awoke with a spring in his step despite the alcohol he had consumed the night before. He quickly changed into his running clothes while Scully was in the bathroom, and knocked on the door, telling her he was going for a run.

 

He was about twenty minutes into his jog, Scully on his mind the entire time, when he saw another jogger. She had an expensive looking spandex set on and earbuds in her ears, and when she noticed him, she pulled the earbuds out and waved at him. Mulder glanced behind him to see if she was waving to someone else, but there was nobody around. He pointed at himself and mouthed “Me?”

 

She ran over to him. “Hey! You, yeah, you, what’s your name? Sexy?”

 

Mulder blushed. “No, no, Foxy-- ah, Fox,” he stammered, “Mulder, I mean. My name is Mulder.”

 

“Alexis,” she said, her hands going up to present herself in all her glory.

 

“Hi. Alexis.”

 

“You were so cute yesterday fawning all over my mom.”

 

“Oh,” said Mulder, embarrassed.

 

“Wanna go get a tea at the cafe?”

 

“Um, no… what?”

 

“C’mon,” she said, tugging at the hem of his t-shirt. “I want to talk to you about something.”

 

Mulder, bewildered, followed after her as she began to jog toward the nearby cafe.

 

“Twyla, two green teas, please,” Alexis ordered as they sat down at the counter.

 

“I don’t want… oh, whatever,” muttered Mulder.

 

Alexis swiveled her stool to face Mulder. “So I’m usually on the receiving end of pining, but I’ve found myself in the other position, and oh my god, does it suck royally.”

 

“I’m sorry, what are we talking about?”

 

“Ted. We used to date and we were engaged...twice, and now he’s seeing someone else, and I cannot get over him. How do you deal with it?”

 

“Deal with what?” Mulder was having a terrible time trying to follow what Alexis was saying. She seemed to have picked up in the middle of a conversation that they had never had before.

 

“You know, working with your partner and having all those feelings for her. I mean, thank god I no longer work with Ted, but it’s still so difficult.”

 

“Feelings for my partner? Scully? Where did you get that from?”

 

“Oh Foxy,” she said, shaking her head. “We get very little entertainment around here. Everyone is pretty invested in you two right now.”

 

Mulder blanched at this and quickly racked his brain for anything he might have said being inebriated and loose-lipped last night, but he couldn’t recall mentioning anything pertaining to his feelings toward Scully even though he did, indeed, have feelings for her. Was he that easy to read?  

 

Twyla brought their tea and set down the two mugs in front of them. Mulder nodded his thanks for the tea he had no intention of drinking. She winked at him, adding to his already confused and flustered state, then she tilted her head toward the door of the cafe. Mulder looked that way along with Alexis and saw Scully walk in. She knitted her brow when she saw him and walked up to the counter. “Mulder?”

 

“Hi!” he exclaimed, too brightly. “I, uh, I ran into Alexis here while I was running… and now we are having tea...” Mulder stuttered in way of an explanation. “Alexis is Moira Rose’s daughter.”

 

Scully nodded warily. “I just walked over to get coffee while I waited for you to get back. We are going to check out that marsh today, right?”

 

“Yes, yep, mmhm.” Mulder fidgeted, nervous that Alexis would blab about their conversation. When he glanced over at her, she was looking back and forth between him and Scully with a big grin on her face, her hands clasped in front of her chest, utterly delighted.

 

Scully got Twyla’s attention and asked for a coffee to go. Mulder took a sip of the tea, just to give himself something to do, then he fiddled in his shorts pocket, pulling out a handful of sunflower seeds. The comforting distraction might help him figure out how to extricate himself from the precarious situation in which he was stuck.

 

He put one between his teeth and cracked it. Alexis was watching him, expectantly. “Seed?” he said, pushing the small pile on the counter toward her.

 

“Ew! No.”

 

He caught Scully chuckle at this, and he smiled despite the inner turmoil he was going through.

 

Twyla brought Scully’s coffee to her and Scully laid out the couple bills to pay for it. “Meet you back at the room, Mulder.”

 

Mulder jumped off his stool. “No, I’m ready! I’ll walk back with you.”

 

He stood next to Scully then turned back to a satisfied Alexis. “Uh, thanks for the tea.”

 

Alexis let out a little squeal and patted Scully on the top of her head and then did the same to Mulder. “The height difference is so cute!”

 

Mulder’s eyes went wide. Scully gaped at Alexis, completely puzzled by her odd behavior.

 

“Okay, bye, Alexis,” Mulder said, hurriedly.

 

“Bye, Foxy...” she replied while overtly winking several times.

 

Mulder took Scully by the arm and guided them out of the cafe. Scully had her neck craned back to look at him and she noticed the blush on his cheeks. “Foxy, hm?”

 

***

 

“Wouldn’t it be funny if it was actually swamp gas this time, Scully?”

 

“Hilarious,” she deadpanned while packing up the samples she had taken from the marsh. Since there was no lab or hospital in Schitt’s Creek, Scully was taking it to the local veterinary clinic to see if they had the equipment with which she could do an analysis. “What are you going to do, Mulder?”

 

“I’m going to see if I can get that autograph from Moira Rose.”

 

“Your work ethic is astounding,” teased Scully. “All right, I’ll be back. Hopefully, I won’t have to make the drive to Elmdale.”

 

Scully entered the small clinic and introduced herself to the veterinary doctor. He led her to the back so she could see what kind of equipment he had. “Yeah, I think this might do just fine,” she said. “Thank you, Dr. Mullens.”

 

“You can call me Ted,” he said, cheerfully. “So, yeah, just knock yourself out. Use whatever you need. Anything to help the FBI.”

 

“Thanks, Ted,” Scully said politely.

 

He continued to hover around her, and she looked at him, raising her eyebrows. “Do you really think Roland is right that the light is extraterrestrial?”

 

Scully shook her head, pursing her lips.

 

“Yeah, Roland’s kinda out there, huh? But anything is paws-ible,” he said, smiling. “You know, paws--” He pointed at the poster on the wall with a dog and cat on it. “Ah, sorry, I, yeah, I’ll leave you alone. Just bark at me if you need anything. Shoot, I’m sorry...anyhoo, gonna leave you to it.”

 

Scully chuckled to herself, amused by the affable and pun-prone vet, and started pulling out the supplies she needed from the cabinet.

 

***

 

“Wow, Mrs. Rose, this is very nice of you,” Mulder said, holding the two signed headshots she had given him.

 

“Moira, please. It’s the least I could do, you poor thing, having to traipse around with Roland, our scurrilous Mayor,” tsked Moira.

 

“Oh, I don’t mind. My partner on the other hand…”

 

“Yes, your partner,” she said with an impish gleam in her eyes. “Such a fetching woman. I have a wig with the same cut and color. Dolores.”

 

“No, her name is Dana.”

 

“No, my wig. It’s Dolores.”

 

Mulder opened his mouth then shut it and smiled, charmed but a little disoriented from the peculiar conversation.

 

Johnny walked into the room. “Agent Mulder, hello.”

 

“Hi.”

 

“I was just giving our lanky friend here some autographs,” explained Moira.

 

“That’s nice, honey.” He turned to Mulder. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to invite you and your partner to the open mic night that my son is having at his store, the Rose Apothecary. It’s over by the cafe.”

 

“Thank you, uh, yeah, thanks,” said Mulder.

 

“There’ll be booze there,” he added enticingly after noticing Mulder’s polite hesitation.

 

Moira stood. “Parental units drink for free, I gather.”

 

“Moira…”

 

“Well, if I have to listen to amateurs sing and spout vexatious poetry then I will require a drink or ten.”

 

Mulder stood ping-ponging between the husband and wife.

 

“Why don’t you sing something, Moira?”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll support David with my presence, but nothing more.”

 

Johnny gave Mulder an apologetic look, then said, “I hope you can make it.”

 

“I’ll ask my partner. Thanks again,” he said, holding up the headshots.


	3. Chapter 3

The store was quite crowded when Mulder and Scully got there—it was standing room only in the back. Mulder went to get them some drink tickets. The proprietor, David, stood off to the side, a look of repulsed horror on his face at what was unfolding before him. A man with a guitar made his way to the small makeshift stage as Mulder came back with two white wines in his hands and a strip of drink tickets hanging out of his pant’s front pocket. 

 

Scully smiled her thanks and Mulder clinked his plastic stemware with hers before taking a sip. They both turned their attention to the front as Patrick kicked off the open mic part of the night. He dedicated his upcoming performance to his partner which made David outwardly cringe even more. Scully glanced between the couple, thinking it was actually quite sweet, but understanding David’s apprehension over such a public display of affection. Moira was standing next to David now, looking equally as horrified, nervous for her son’s sake. 

 

Patrick began his song. The acoustic notes floated liltingly from his fingertips in a tune that Scully recognized as Tina Turner’s “Simply The Best.” He followed the opening notes with a smooth and softly romantic voice crooning the lyrics.

 

_ I call you when I need you _

_ My heart’s on fire _

_ You come to me wild and wired _

_ You come to me _

_ And give me everything I need _

 

_ Give me a lifetime of promises _

_ And a world of dreams _

 

On that line, Mulder turned his gaze from the man serenading his partner to his own partner. Her eyes were filled with tears.

 

_ Speak the language of love _

_ Like you know what it means _

_ And it can’t be wrong _

_ Take my heart and make it strong, babe _

 

_ ‘Cause you’re simply the best _

_ Better than all the rest _

_ Better than anyone _

_ Anyone I’ve ever met _

 

Mulder’s chest tightened as he looked at the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was, in the simple terms of the song, simply the best, and he didn’t want to waste another moment not showing her how special she was. He set his wine down on the shelf next to him, contemplating some sort of move, to put his arm around her or to reach for her free hand between them.

 

_ And I’m stuck on your heart _

_ I hang on every word you say _

_ Tear us apart _

_ Baby, I’d rather be dead _

 

Mulder’s eyes hung on Scully’s face as she got swept up in the emotion of the song and Patrick’s heartfelt proclamation of love. The tears spilled down her cheeks, but instead of quickly wiping them away like he would expect her to do, she turned to face him.

 

_ In your heart, I see the start _

_ Of every night and every day _

_ In your eyes, I get lost _

_ I get washed away _

 

Mulder and Scully looked at each other, communicating the lyrics to the song as declarations of their own to the other. He reached out and cupped her face, brushing her tears away with his thumbs. 

 

_ Just as long as I’m here in your arms _

_ I can be in no better place _

 

Scully leaned into Mulder, circling her arms around his waist, and rested her head on his chest. Mulder immediately enveloped her and placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head, and they gently swayed together for the remainder of the song.

 

_ You’re simply the best _

_ Better than all the rest _

_ Better than anyone  _

_ Anyone I’ve ever met _

_ Oh, you’re the best _

 

The crowd cheered. Mulder and Scully held their embrace.

 

“Wanna get outta here?” he whispered in her ear. He felt her nod against him, then he took her hand and they slipped out the exit.

 

They wordlessly walked back to the motel, hand in hand. Once inside their room, though, those hands became frenzied and fumbling as they pawed at each other, trying to rid themselves of their clothes. Scully’s jacket and sweater were gone, and she was fiddling with Mulder’s belt when he stopped her. They hadn’t even kissed yet. Their pent up lust was making this go too fast. “Scully.”

 

She looked up at him, cheeks flushed, pupils darkened. “I want this, Mulder,” she said, thinking he was giving her a chance to rethink it. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

 

“Me too, Scully.” He brushed her hair back from her face, tenderly. “I love you.”

 

Her eyes welled with more tears and she whispered back in a shaky voice, “I love you, too.”

 

He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, then pulled back to look again into her eyes. “Let me show how much,” said Mulder. He fully intended to worship every inch of her body tonight, if it had to be on a twin bed in a rundown motel of a backwater town, so be it.  _ Just as long as I’m here in your arms I can be in no better place, _ Mulder played the lyrics of the song in his head.

 

They finished removing one another’s clothes, now slowly and with some reverence. Mulder laid Scully back on her bed, raising back up on his knees so he could look at her. Every curve, every angle, was soft and hard, malleable yet strong, a perfect balance; just like their partnership—contradictions in harmony, a perfect union of opposites. 

 

He ran his fingers along her collarbone, down to the supple outer contours of her breasts, then across her stomach, watching as the gooseflesh erupted in his wake. She shivered—and it wasn’t from being cold.

 

Mulder moved to hover over her, the contact of just his hands being insufficient. He needed his lips on her, his tongue, needed to taste her, experience her with every sense. First, he explored the inside of her mouth, letting her do the same, tongues slipping around, caressing. Then he began a slow trail down her chin, along the graceful slope of her neck. His lips met the cold metal of her gold cross, the symbol of her faith. Scully was the symbol of his faith, which he now realized was her, just her. She was his religion. Knowing her expanded the edges of the universe, opened his eyes to the fantastic, to things beyond a mere mortal’s reach.

 

He continued down, anointing his goddess with kisses like prayers, sealing his devotion with licks from his tongue. Scully accepted his praise with soft moans, her fingers playing in his hair. He reached her center and she opened for him. Mulder nipped along her inner thigh and breathed in deeply, smelling her arousal. He practically started to salivate once the scent hit his nose. 

 

Mulder pressed his lips to her, softly, then firmly, then snaking his tongue out to dip into her wet heat. He plunged into her depths, hungrily, not sure if he could ever get enough of the decadence, overpowering as it was. 

 

The hold on his hair tightened and she whimpered loudly, her hips twitching upward. His tongue flitted up to her clit and he strummed the plump pearl like the first notes of the song that had brought them to this point. It didn’t take much until she was coming, crying out his name over and over in the most beautiful melody he had ever heard.

 

He crawled back up, a proud grin splashed across his face. “Mulderrr,” she purred, sated and serene. He kissed her deeply, taking what little breath she had gathered after her climax away from her again. She tasted herself on his lips, the delicate lushness, evidence of his effect on her. 

 

Scully wrapped her legs around his hips and squeezed, then in one swift, deft move she rolled his body under hers, straddling his lap.

 

“Oh!” he yelped at the sudden change of dominance. “I’m yours, Scully. Take me. Ravish me.”

 

“I intend to,” she replied, a sly smile on her lips. Scully raked her nails up and down his chest, pausing to stroke the flat of his nipples with her thumbs. He groaned, reaching for her hips and gripping at the supple flesh.

 

Her hands went down to the solid erection that rose up between them—one hand slipped in to cup his balls and the other wrapped around his shaft. She worked him, delighting in him coming undone underneath her. Her thumb grazed across his tip, swiping at the drops of precum, and his hips jerked up in a jolt. “Need you,” he grunted. 

 

Scully lifted up and guided him to her entrance. She was slick and ready, and his impressive girth slid in smoothly. She lowered down, fully sheathing his length, his head pressing against her cervix. Scully let out a low, guttural hum, and clenched her walls around him.

 

He jerked up into her again at the delicious surge of pressure. Then she began to ride him, sending him careening toward the edge. Scully put her hands over his which were clutched at her hips, and tugged them, bringing them up to her breasts. He kneaded her soft mounds that she pushed into his palms, and she whimpered as she came to join him on the precipice; they tumbled into the bliss together.

 

Afterward, they laid tightly hugging each other on the tiny bed, sweaty limbs still tangled. Mulder hummed the Tina Turner song softly while tracing light circles on Scully’s shoulder with his fingertips. She smiled against his chest.

 

“Simply the best,” she sighed.

 

Her head bounced gently on him as he chuckled. “Who knew that being up Schitt’s Creek without a paddle was just the push we needed.”  


	4. Epilogue

Scully groaned, her breath rustling the hair on Mulder’s chest. “What is that banging?”

 

“I’m sad to say it isn’t us. Sounds like construction going on outside.”

 

Scully nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He kissed her temple then disentangled his body from her, almost falling off the edge of the bed. Slipping his boxers on, he went to peer out through curtain. “Yeah, construction. On the roof or something.”

 

Scully sat up and stood, walking to her suitcase by the dresser. Mulder turned around to admire her naked body.

 

“I was about to make a derogatory comment about this motel, but after what we did here it now has a special place in my heart,” she said, shimmying on a pair of underwear she had pulled from her bag.

 

Mulder smiled, wide and goofy, in agreement.

 

Once they were all packed up, they put their bags in the car and went together to the lobby to check out. The whole Rose family was there along with Stevie. Scully’s cheeks pinkened as she got a sense that it was obvious to everyone that she and her partner had grown closer than they had been when they first arrived. Alexis did her spastic, exaggerated wink at them again and David pressed his lips together to hide a knowing smirk.

 

Moira was less subtle. “Oh, there’s the two lovebirds. I saw you flit off to your room after Patrick’s willowy warbling. David wasn’t the only one swooning.”

 

“I wasn’t swooning,” snapped David, but he softened with a smile. “Well, maybe a little.” Everyone was looking at him and grinning. “I thought we were embarrassing these two, though,” he said, waving his hand at Mulder and Scully.

 

They were both speechless. Mulder cleared his throat and stepped up to the counter. “Checking out,” he croaked in a slightly high voice.

 

“I, um, I don’t know what, uh, nothing happened…” Scully stammered, trying to lie her way out of the already awkward situation.

 

“One-room trope, what did I tell you,” Moira said, shrugging at her own predictive brilliance.

 

Mulder, in an attempt to divert the conversation, pointed toward the lobby door. “I like the new name,” he said.

 

“Shh-shh,” Johnny said, flagging Mulder’s attention. “It’s a surprise for Stevie here.”

 

“Oh, sorry,” said Mulder, miming a zipping motion across his lips. “We really did enjoy our stay here.” He signed the bill that Stevie gave him.

 

“Hey, what did you find out about Roland’s lights?” asked Johnny, remembering why they were in town in the first place.

 

Mulder chuckled. “Swamp gas. It was actually swamp gas.”

 

“Ew!” David and Alexis shrieked in unison.

 

Mulder turned to look at Scully who beamed back at him boastfully. Then he put his arm around her shoulders, wanting to confirm to these lovely people that he did, in fact, discover a phenomenon in their town—that his one true love loved him back.

 

They got into their car as the Rose family guided Stevie outside, a blindfold covering her eyes. Mulder placed his hand over Scully’s and she turned it over, lacing her fingers with his, while they watched the reveal of the Rosebud Motel sign to Stevie. “Change can be good,” Scully said.

 

“And some changes are simply the best,” replied Mulder.  


End file.
